The dog loved me.

We spent a couple of pleasant days at the house on the Cape. Did not garden as planned (will save that for June) but rode bikes, cooked on the grill and slept a lot (add for John and the kids :watched large amounts of Deadliest Catch)

Yesterday afternoon a largish Rottweiler padded over to me in the driveway and from that moment on, basically adopted me. She would not leave my side, if I went in the house (which is all windows and sliding glass doors) walked around until she could see me and then flopped down outside that vantage point. She was terrified of John (would shy away and whimper) and really liked the kids (whom I kept away because...well...strange dog with big head and ability to harm).

After awhile I realized she was clearly lost, hungry and had no idea where to go. I decided to canvas some of the neighborhood dog owners and while they all said they'd seen her wandering about the past couple of days, no one knew who she was. She had a collar but no tags. Oh and whenever I walked she went with me at a perfect heel, so I tried hand/word commands for sit, down, and stay and she hit every one. Even maintained the stay when I held a piece of grilled chicken (which I fed her, so sue me). I gave her water and a tennis ball and went to the car to widen my search-she hopped in. I said "back" she went into the back and was absolutely thrilled to be going for a ride. We found no takers.

There was no way I could see us taking in a Rottie, no matter how seemingly sweet. This dog was clearly abandoned, but also clearly well trained and not long abandoned because she still looked good (a few scratches on the face) but still I can't afford the medical bills, getting her checked out and then there's the allergies my daughter has and...ok I admit it, I allowed myself a brief fantasy of taking the dog and maybe getting back into agility.

So, I told the kids it was time to call the animal control officer and bring her in because we were headed home and I wasn't going to leave her. Just then a pick up comes slowly down the street and a man sees her and pulls over shaking her head and muttering "silly dog". He told us her name is Josie, her owner (his daughter's ex boyfriend) abandoned her and the daughter was trying to find a home for her so brought her to the Cape when visiting this week end and the dog took off. He did hint about the "finding her a home part" but also said they had decided to "foster" her with their dog groomer and like I said, we are NOT GETTING A DOG. Especially not a Rottie of unknown origins.
Josie was not afraid of this man and I confirmed the boyfriend had facial hair (I'm guessing he was a kicker from the way she shied away from John). She hopped into the truck and forgot about us.

Anyway...the whole experience has made us, as a family, realize we like dogs still even if now isn't the right time for one. I took a couple of pictures and if they are still trying to place her when we get back I can't swear that I will resist (yes I will!  No I won't! Yes I will!)

Dear Life,

It's not you. it's me.

I think that with some time and rest we'll be able to be friends, but for now I think you need to stop freaking me out.

This means let me sleep without weird-ass dreams or insomnia producing anxiety.

So, let's start with baby steps. I will read (Cassandra Clare's City of Glass, book 3 in her Mortal Instruments series) and then I will nap. You will maintain a drama free state.




I often am amazed at how willing Americans are to examine every aspect of their lives and thoughts and feelings, but ignore the elpehant in the room that is class.  We discriminate in this country based on class more than anything else but no one wants to see it.  

Our local paper recently had an article that really drove home the dichotomy between the classes in this country. Apparently, in the more affluent sector, being laid off from work is being seen as a nice lull and change of pace (Laid off and Loving it). This is such a crock, because for most Americans being laid off right now would send their families tumbling into a free fall of despair and hardship that they will likely not be able to crawl out of in this generation. however, here we are with the upbeat newspaper articles claiming that losing one's job is akin to a brief enjoyable vacation with time to reconnect with family and friends.  Color me baffled.


If you think I'm avoiding you...

 ..well I kind of am.

I've been trying not to talk to people much these days because I spend a lot of time crying and getting all emotional about the kids growing up so fast and my fears of being alone when they do.  Em will be 14 tomorrow.  I know I'm being a baby and I know enough to appreciate the times we have now and live in the moment and all, but when I'm alone or at night I just get weird.  

Anyway..I'm a big baby.

15 Albums meme

 Think of 15 albums, CDs, LPs (if you're over 40) that had such a profound effect on you they changed your life. Dug into your brain. Music that brought you to life when you heard it. Royally affected you, kicked you in the wasu, literally socked you in the gut, is what I mean. Then when you finish, tag 15 others, including moi. Make sure you copy and paste this part so they know the drill. 

So, changed my world? I don't know about that, but influenced me, helped me cope, kept me company, provided the soundtrack to lifes many little dramas? Those I might be able to list, although if you asked me again in a week or a year or a decade the list would likely change. 

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    spike singing in Buffy episode Once More With Feeling
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not even a rant, more like a request...

Dear Facebook Friends,

I think it's lovely you are enjoying your vacations. Trust me though, no one wants to see your continual updates about every ski run, the tropical heat, the great Apres skiing dining or those fabulous Mojitos on the deck. We get it! You have more fabulous lives than we do!

I'll make a deal. You stop with the updates on your (clearly depression proof) jet setting ways and I'll stop updating hourly with my plague symptoms.

Much Love,